


Satisfaction Guaranteed

by lizlovelie



Category: Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Thor (Movies)
Genre: Action/Adventure, Alternate Universe - Human, Coffee Addict Tony Stark, Department store au, Epic Bromance, Everyone Has Issues, F/F, F/M, Feels, Fluff, Fluff and Humor, FrostIron - Freeform, Gen, Humor, I suck at tagging, Loki and Tony get into some crazy shit, Loki-centric, M/M, Nick Fury is still the boss, Not Beta Read, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Past Pepper Potts/Tony Stark, Pepper is already done with this, Poor Loki, Slice of Life, Tony Stark Has A Heart, Tony-centric, angst is likely to happen because i am a drama queen but it's meant to be lighthearted, overly dramatic and not actually likely to happen in real department stores
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-10-18
Updated: 2013-11-07
Packaged: 2017-12-29 18:23:58
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 13,126
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1008575
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lizlovelie/pseuds/lizlovelie
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Loki Laufeyson never knew accepting a job transfer to the biggest SHIELD Department Store in the state would change his life dramatically. Loki's once mundane life gets too exciting and borderline dangerous while working at SHIELD. Everyone that works there is almost as manipulative and cunning as he is, the customers all have this twisted delusion that he is a miracle worker and occasionally a boy toy, he is pretty sure employees from the competing store are stalking them all,  and the Electronics Department Manager, Tony Stark, mixes his emotions and feelings in ways that are really uncomfortable and sometimes really...amazing.</p><p>The pay is awesome and benefits are top notch, so Loki is just going to have to adapt.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Topic of the Break Room

**Author's Note:**

> Hi! I was inspired to write this from this brilliant list here from tumblr - [RIDICULOUS FRAWSTIRUN AUs 2013](http://seizure7.tumblr.com/post/64079100343/ridiculous-frawstirun-aus-2013). These also may or may not be based on my 3 years of crazy things happening in retail.

 

1 - Talk of the Break Room

“ _You have arrived at your destination_.” The GPS stated in it’s feminine monotone voice.

 

“Don’t you take credit for this. You did absolutely NOTHING to contribute to my arrival.” Loki Laufeyson hissed at the GPS system as he haphazardly parked into the closet open space in the parking lot. The man shut down the car, yanked the keys out roughly and leaned back into the seat. Taking deep breath as his slender hand through his raven locks, his eyes looked to the ceiling of the car. This was already off to a terrible start. A terribly terrible start.

 

Loki had just recently been transferred to another SHIELD department store. The one in his town had been closed about a week ago, something about not bringing enough sales or attracting enough customers. The town of Jotunheim really liked their Wal-Marts and super cheap discount stores. SHIELD didn’t fit into the picture. It was too small of a store and they never had the ‘good’ merchandise that was advertised on television or the newspaper. It was surely bound to fail after a few years. Loki had known this was going to happen and had tried rather desperately to find another job to keep his stable lifestyle — stable as in paycheck to paycheck — but no one was hiring. Jotunheim was a small town and Loki had his job for years — ever since he finished high school and left home.

 

Sadly…this little store had become Loki’s life.

 

He made friends there.

 

He ate there.

 

He SLEPT there.

 

_Loki was losing his life!_

 

He didn’t have to fret for long. His, now former, manager had offered him a position at a neighboring SHIELD store forty-five minutes away in the much larger city of Midgard. When he talked to the hiring manager of the other store, Phil Coulson was his name, he let Loki know it was a bigger and popular store so he didn’t have to worry about finding another job for a while and they were going to pay him much more than he was currently being paid. Loki accepted his offer immediately and the deal was sealed. It was a bit inconvenient that he now had to drive to work instead of talking a ten minute walk through the city but the travel could be good for him.

 

Or it could be a disaster.

 

It had taken Loki two hours to find the SHIELD in Midgard. It was pouring down raining outside, his GPS system had lead him to seven dead ends, he had almost gotten into three accidents, and on top of that he forgot to charge his phone the previous night so there was no calling SHIELD to ask for directions or to inform them of his tardiness.

 

After two minutes of trying to calm down from the terrible ride, Loki decided it was time to go inside and hope these people were as gullible as his previous bosses. There was no in hell he would tell them the truth. Hell no, this entire experience was pathetic and there was no way he was going to run in there the first day and ask for pity. Or even worse, people might find his pain amusing.

 

Fuck that, this entire traveling experience never happened.

 

Loki looked himself over in the car mirror. He slicked back his hair that had gotten ruffled after nearly trying to rip it out on the way here. He straightened up his white collared shit and tried to ignore how dead he looked right now. Well, he did almost die trying to get to this god forsaken city. Is this how getting to work is going to be like from now on? For the sake of his physical and mental health, he hoped not. He wasn’t sure how much this store covered his medical insurance.

 

Grabbing his umbrella from the passenger side, Loki very carefully stepped out of his car, making sure the umbrella was shielding him from the pouring rain. He remembered to grab his green cardigan before slamming the door shut and locking it up. To be able to stretch his legs again felt wonderful as did the sting of the cold air. It was much colder here than in Jotunheim…which was surprising because Jotunheim was infamous for it’s colder temperatures.

 

Loki’s green eyes opened in awe as he walked toward the store. It…was MUCH bigger than the old store, and brighter, and oh my god, they had their own SHOPPING carts. He looked back up to the big bright shiny letters in front of the store that read SHIELD. It was so much better looking and attractive to the eyes. Loki scanned the rest of the plaza that neighbored SHIELD. There was a drug store, a grocery store, a cell phone place, some food places…and another department store? It wasn’t as big as SHIELD but it wasn’t small in the least. The name of it was _Red Hammer Home Goods_. He never heard of it…but it had to be a big deal. They had their own shopping carts too.

 

“Oh hell!!” Loki gasped out as the wind decided to blow very violently and make the umbrella pop upward. The rain quickly started to drench the man as he battled to pop it back into place. “You have got to be fucking kidding meeeee!” He roared out in frustration, throwing the damn thing down in the parking lot. He threw the cardigan over his head, even though he was soaked to the bone by now, and ran for it.

 

Finally, he reached the doors and was safe from the rain. This was not turning out like he had imagined it. Not even close. He took the drenched cardigan off his head and held it in his hands. He looked down at it sadly just wondering if this was the biggest sign from the universe to just give up, run back to the car and go home. He was pulled from his thoughts when he realized he had walked into the store and a freckled red haired woman greeted him.

 

“Hi, Welcome to SHIELD. Do you need help finding anything today?”

 

Loki slowly looked down to her. The woman was smiling, her blue eyes making perfect contact with Loki’s as she patiently waited for a reply.

 

“Hi…” Loki looked down to her name tag to catch her name and continued. “…Pepper. I am here for work. I am Loki Laufeyson.”

 

Pepper’s eyebrows rose when he had said his name. She looked him over and gave him a crooked smile “Loki…you’re late.”

 

“I am.”Loki said simply as he kept eye contact with her and his hands kept busy pulling at his drenched cardigan.

 

“Coulson should be in his office.” Pepper pointed down a huge aisle, from what Loki could see it seemed to be the clothing department. “Walk straight back, make a right but not too right or you might end up in the kitchen department. You don’t want to go to the kitchen department.”

 

“Why not?” Loki didn’t mean to ask, but it kind of just happened. In return, Pepper gave him the stink eye.

 

“Just don’t. Or do. Whatever, I warned you.” Pepper shrugged as she started to head over to the cash registers when she noticed the line was getting a bit long. “Have fun, Loki.”

 

Loki watched as Pepper walked away, well that wasn’t at all intimidating or nerving. The man did as he was told and headed toward the back. As he walked he was still amazed at how HUGE this store was. It was nothing like the old store. The old one was small, a bit cluttered but homey. This one was huge and spacey and filled to the brim with neatly organized products. It was almost surreal.

 

The clothing department was rather empty, and not an employee in sight. If the people working here were anything like Pepper, he wasn’t too eager to meet them. Oh god, if the greeter girl knew who he was and that he was late, that meant the rest of the employees knew. That was embarrassing as hell. He was supposed to come in here like he owned the place, like he did at home. Shining with confidence and authority. Loki already knew how comically horrid he looked right about now and he didn’t seem to impress Pepper at all.

 

Well…fuck.

 

He now found himself in the Electronics department. There were some customers looking around at the huge televisions and playing on the Xbox and other gaming consoles. He didn’t see anyone that stood out as an employee so he turned away to continue his walk of shame. The moment he turned away, he heard chattering. Loki looked out of the corner of his eyes to see two men behind the counter talking. A brunet who had his back turned to Loki, leaning against the counter and a blond who had noticed Loki’s gaze and looked up at him. Oh god, they worked here. Loki instinctively picked up the pace in hopes he went by unnoticed. He did not want to be approached.

 

Crap, crap, crap.

 

Loki looked over again…and he wish he hadn’t. The blond haired man was pointing dead at him and the brunet looked at Loki…or maybe he wasn’t. He was wearing a pair of sunglasses…indoors? Ew.The brunt pulled his shades down a bit, looked over them and NOW he was looking dead at Loki with big brown eyes. Their eyes met and it was a rather dramatic moment of them just staring…until the man smiled at Loki deviously as if he were a hunter and Loki was the prey.

 

The look in his eyes was something Loki was more than familiar with…and some he did NOT want to deal with.

 

“Oh hey, sir. Yeah, you sir.” The brunet called out as he literally climbed over the counter and started jogging toward Loki, while Loki ignored him and walked faster. “You, the wet one that’s ignoring me right now and walking away. You. Yes you. Hey come on, you walk fast. Slow down, sir. Sir!”

 

“WHAT?” Loki spun around looking pretty deranged at the man, he had wanted to come off a bit calmer and saner…but this guy had quickly worked his nerves.

 

“…have you signed up for a SHIELD department store credit card? You can get 10% off today’s purchase?” The brunet smiled brightly, Loki’s crazy face not seeming to disturb him in the slightest. “You might want to buy an umbrella.”

 

Yep. SHIELD card.

 

“No. I am not interested.” Loki sighed as he turned away from the brunet, but when he turned the man was already in front of him. It startled Loki a bit. “The fuc-”

 

“I can help you find something. I know where a lot of things are.” The man smiled as he stood by Loki’s side and gently placed a hand on his back and pushed him forward to walk. “Walk with me, sir. Hey Clint! You got me covered?” He called back to the blond man.

 

“Hell no.” Clint smiled as he threw up a middle finger.

 

“Ignore him, he is actually in love with me. It’s weird.” The brunet was quick with his words and hand fliaing with expression. Loki found himself walking side by side with this lunatic and he wasn’t even sure how it happened. “I am Tony by the way. Nice to meet you, leggy. Anyway, if you need anything at all, let me know. I am here to help, serve, please, and tend to your SHIELD needs. Just not in the kitchen department.”

 

Loki was just about to elbow Tony’s stupid face down the aisle but he accidentally asked “What is with the kitchen departm-”

 

“-don’t.” Tony warned giving him the same stank face Pepper had eariler.

 

“This is insane!” Loki snapped out. He stopped in his tracks, grabbed Tony’s hand from off his back and roughly tossed it back to him. “First of all, do NOT touch me.”

 

“No touchy.” Tony quickly threw his hands up in defense.

 

“Second, I am not here for a SHIELD card, or merchandise or your attempts at flirting with me — which is not working by the way.”

 

Tony feigned an expression of hurt “Was I coming on too strong? I thought I was being tam-”

 

“Shuuuut uuuuuup!” Loki commanded with wide scary eyes. Tony’s lips clamped shut “I am trying to find Phil Coulson’s office.”

 

“We’re not hiring, we have all our staff for the season…” Tony rambled more to himself than to Loki. Who would want to see Coulson? Then it dawned on him. This was the topic of the break room in the flesh. Tony smiled up to the man brightly “You’re Loki Laufeyson.”

 

“Ding fucking dong. You won the obvious game.”

 

“Well no, I expected you to be ugly and weird. Loki is a weird name…not ugly. But weird. You are not ugly at all.”

 

Loki deadpanned “You really pick up people in a department store?”

 

“You’re the first one I’ve tried.” Tony smiled up to the taller man, looking dead into his eyes.

 

Loki just started at him wickedly, this man was unlike any other he had met before..it would be intriguing…if he weren’t in the worst mood possible right now.

 

“I don’t like you. Now leave me be.” Loki turned from Tony and quickly continued down the aisle.

 

“See you on the sales floor, Loki!” Tony called down out to him. “Also the umbrella. You should get one. Though the wet look does suit you.”

 

Loki stormed down the aisle, he would have called out a good old ‘fuck you’ to that obnoxious jerk, but he could spot the offices by now and he didn’t want his bosses to hear him being so profane…on top of being an hour late.

 

* * *

 

 

“Glad to see you didn’t get lost, Mr. Laufeyson.” Phil Coulson smiled pleasantly as he gestured Loki to sit in the lone chair in front of his desk in his very plain office.

 

“I…might get your chair wet.” Loki said with a faint smile but Coulson’s eyebrows just rose as he kept on that damn plastered smile. Loki’s smile faded, he sat down in the chair and looked at the older man. He decided to answer the man’s question before he asked it. “I am terribly sorry for my lateness. I had been stuck in traffic, there was an accident on route 325 and it was a mess. I think a car accident? At least that’s what the radio informed me.” Loki spoke casually as if this were all true.

 

Coulson seemed to be buying it for he gently stopped Loki from continuing “It’s alright, Loki. I am just glad you’re safe. The weather out there was terrible and you weren’t answering your phone.”

 

“My service is terrible here.” Loki lied again. “I have an estranged phone service that caters to the areas of Jotunheim. Fairly cheap.”

 

Coulson simply smiled…that smile was starting to get a bit creepy now. “So, as I said on the phone you’re being hired as a store manager. Like your previous job, but as you have noticed, this store is much bigger than the one in Jotunheim. Actually this is the biggest SHIELD store in the state. This means, you will also have more responsibilities.”

 

The next few hours were spent with Coulson briefing Loki about the store in general and how differently things ran. It was also spent with delightful paperwork and a bunch of outdated and cheesy videos made in the 90’s he had remembered from when he was first hired at the old SHIELD. Coulson informed Loki he was to be the manager of the Bedding/Bath and Home Decor departments. Which was great, Loki preferred those those departments the most in his old store. Loki was told of the higher ups of this store, Maria Hill and Nick Fury. Maria was Human Resources and Nick Fury was the Owner/General Manager. Neither were in today, so Loki didn’t get a chance to meet them. In fact, he wasn’t going to be properly introduced to anyone today. Coulson had insisted Loki go home after he finished with the paperwork so he wouldn’t be driving around in the pouring rain in case he got lost again.

 

Coulson hadn’t bought the traffic story after all.

 

* * *

 

 

“You seen the new guy?” Pepper asked when she caught Tony heading out of the door for the evening. Tony backtracked over to the customer service desk where Pepper stood behind, eager to talk.

 

“Uh, yeah. I seen him, talked to him a bit.” Tony smirked as he leaded on the desk, his brown eyes looking over the sunglasses to look at the woman.

 

Pepper narrowed her eyes “Tony…”

 

“Whatty?” Tony replied innocently.

 

“You flirted with the new guy, didn’t you? Of course you did.” Pepper sighed exhaustedly, she could tell just by the way Tony looked when she mentioned the tall, dark and handsome new employee. After all, she had known Tony for years. They were best friends, at one time friends with benefits until they decided to go back to best friends, then back to lovers, then to casual, and they were now best friends. For real. No one else actually knew that and they did not plan on giving out their history to anyone. So yeah, this is why Pepper knows this.

 

“I was hoping to get him to sign for a SHIELD card to be honest.” Tony shrugged simply as he reached over and took her fresh coffee off her desk and started to sip at it. It was NOT coffee. “Fucking crap, Pumpkin Latte. Come on, Pep. God, holy fuck.” Tony coughed out in disgust as he quickly put the cup back over the counter and on her desk, but not without almost choking off the strong pumpkin scent flooding down his throat.

 

Pepper smiled happily as she placed her cup a bit further from the desk so customers wouldn’t notice it. “That’s what you get. What is Loki like? Is he as brooding as he seems?”

 

Tony managed to pull himself together after that horrifying experience and replied simply. “He is sassy.”

 

“Oh great, he’ll fit right in.” Pepper rolled her eyes at the lack of a real answer.

 

“And!” Tony continued as he looked at her seriously. “He has legs for days.”

 

After a moment of silence Pepper sighed, having to agree with her friend “He does.”

 

“And that gorgeous hair!”

 

“Did you see his eyes?”

 

“Uh, yeah, duh Pepper. They were only the most intense orbs of color to ever belong to a human being.”

 

Pepper just smirked at Tony and crossed her arms in amusement. “Hoping for more than a SHIELD card?”

 

“No.” Tony dismissed again. Okay, so maybe Loki was…insanely hot. There was a mysterious aura about the thin raven haired man that easily drew him in, but Tony was really just being Tony. He flirted and teased everyone. Pepper was making it sound like he wanted relations with this man. That….does not sound bad at all really…shut up Tony. Shut up. “Just providing my outstanding customer service. You should take notes, Pep.”

 

“I AM customer service.” Pepper reminded him as she motioned to the sign above her head that said Customer Service. “I trained you.”

 

“Yeah yeah yeah, anyway. I'm going home. I’ll see you tomorrow pumpkin spice.” Tony smiled as he pat the counter twice before walking away toward the door. He stopped and turned to her. “Seriously, that shit is gross how can you drink that mess?”

 

“Goodnight Tony.” Pepper said sternly, her arm stretched out and finger pointing at the exit door.

 

With an eye roll, Tony turned and headed out the automatic doors. His umbrella was securely tucked under his arm ready to whip out to head to his car. If he had kept it in his hand he surely would have left it lying around the store somewhere and god forbid he had to get soaked outside in this downpour. Wet was not a good look for Tony Stark. Especially not for Tony’s hair. Even after about ten hours of work, the gel was holding his hair nice and beautifully. Once outside, he started to pulled out his phone to check his messages. Tony could have done that in the car, but he wanted to take a moment to breath in some fresh crisp air. He heard the doors slide open behind him and stepped aside, these crazy customers had no problem in running your ass down with a cart. Tony put his phone back in his pocket and went to set his umbrella up, that’s when he noticed Loki standing there beside him.

 

“Loki? Where the hell did you come from?!” Tony was a bit startled from the sudden appearance of the taller man.

 

Loki didn’t even look at him, he was looking dead ahead at the rain “My mother.”

 

Tony rose an eyebrow in amusement as he looked Loki over again. He was much dryer now..well that was probably why Loki hadn’t just walked past him by now and head out to his car. He was bound to just get drenched again. Even if he used that pathetic little cardigan as protection.

 

“Well, see you.” Tony gave Loki a small wave as he put up his umbrella and headed toward his car.

 

“Bye.” Loki mumbled softly, but Tony had caught it. It made the brunet bite his lip as he walked up the parking lot to find his car. He was about to climb inside when his eye caught a glimpse of an abandoned umbrella, popped upward and looking quite broken. That had to be Loki’s…pretty sure he won the obvious game again. Tony looked back over toward the store to see Loki had his cardigan over his head about to run through the rain.

 

“Wait!” Tony called out, and Loki’s head shot up toward his voice that managed to echo loudly through the parking lot and the pouring rain. “Wait there!”

 

Not looking back over to make sure the other man was waiting; Tony climbed in the car, pulled down the umbrella and threw it over to the passenger seat. Loki was waiting there by the doors of the store when Tony pulled up in front of him. The passenger window rolled down and Tony offered his umbrella out to Loki by the handle.

 

“Here, you can keep this. I have about five more at home.” Tony lied, giving Loki a big smile.

 

Loki looked down at the umbrella handle and carefully reached over to grab it almost hestitently as if Tony were going to pull it back into his car and drive away laughing. But he didn’t do that. Loki grabbed the handle and pulled the umbrella out of the window, only getting his pale hand and shirt sleeve wet.

 

“See ya, lat-”

 

“Thank you.”

 

Tony was taken back when Loki’s gaze met with his. It wasn’t those cold harsh eyes he had met within the store, no these eyes were sincere and grateful. Loki didn’t have to smile, but Tony could read people well enough to know that his eyes were smiling for him. His tone of voice matched exactly what his eyes were trying to convey.

 

“No problem. You….you be safe.” Tony said warmly. With a two fingered salute, he drove down the parking lot and out of the plaza.

 

A small smile crept across Loki’s face as he popped up the sturdy umbrella and headed out toward his car, almost no rain hit him at all.

 

Overall, this day was terrible and could have gone much much better.

 

It was obvious working at this SHIELD was going to be nothing at all like the quiet little store in Jotunheim.

 

Loki was starting to feel okay about this…at least until he had to come back out here again tomorrow.


	2. Loose Mouthed Assholes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tony just wants to get some coffee and get the work day over with. Yeah...no. That's way too much to ask for when it comes to Tony Stark. But hey, at least Loki is dry today and a lot less murderous. Tony is forced to give Loki a tour and he finds out something about the newbie that makes him even more interesting than before!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this took a while, I got sick! So if this sucks, blame sickness! :D

This was it.

This was truly the end for Anthony Edward Stark.

At least this is what Tony assumed the moment he walked into the little donut place a few shops down from SHIELD. He literally ran in from out of the blistering cold to walk into someone…someone much bigger than him. He didn’t even excuse himself when he looked around the huge mass and he let out a small whine when he saw the line to the counter was actually to the door where he stood. What the hell was this free coffee day? This shitty little place decides to become crowded when he decides to oversleep. Perfect. So so perfect.

It was freezing outside but because _baby beluga_ over here didn’t want to scoot up, Tony was stuck in an awkward position of standing right in the open door. The hand holding the door open was already about to freeze off while the other found comfort in the pocket of his white jacket. He tried to use his foot to keep the door open…and it worked until one of the employees complained about it, causing Tony to take his foot off the door and it immediately smacked him into the shop. Once again he ran into the huge mass in front of him.

“Sorry sorry.” Tony let out a slight hiss, the door was heavier than he was and it literally beat the fuck out of his right leg. Damn, that was going to bruise.

The figure turned around and it was rather old and creepy man. He looked down at Tony viciously before turning back around and took a huge step forward. Now there was enough space for Tony, and about seven people, to come inside and stand in line.

“Thanks, man. Appreciate the moving and the line…” Tony muttered out as he stood there finally taking in the warmth of the coffee shop. Would have been better if his leg wasn’t still throbbing, but whatever. The line was moving now and he had enough time to get his coffee and be at work on time. SHIELD should be thankful he was bothering to come in. The furnace shitted out last night and that’s what Tony’s night was. Fixing the furnace…which would have been easy if he had the proper tools to fix it with. He had to improvise a lot, but Tony was good at working with what he had. When he finished, he took a nice hot bath and crawled into bed…fifteen minutes later he had to get up and get ready for work. He tried to take another five minutes…which turned into thirty minutes…which turned into an hour.

So maybe the real reason he didn’t call off because Nick Fury was going to show up today.

Meaning this was Fury’s fault.

Not Tony’s.

Tony spent another ten minutes basically humming to himself, spinning around in his spot and looking at his pretty face on the reflection of his phone. He was now only two customers away from being next. He exhaled in relief that soon he would finally be able to have the energy to deal with the dumb shit going on around him. He wasn’t sure how he made it this far without having a exhaustion induced episode…especially since no one was around to made sure he didn’t do anything too dramatic…because Tony can be a little dramatic sometimes. Kinda like how Loki was yesterday. Tony chuckled to himself at the memory of the new employee. How he spun around screaming at him with that lunatic gaze in those pretty green eyes. It reminded him of himself so much it was almost creepy…

Yes! The whale was up! Wooo! Coffee time! Happy Time! Tony danced a small victory to himself in joy, losing himself in his weird little world…until…the unthinkable happened.

“Tony Stark! Is that you buddy?!”

No.

No.

More than 7 billion people on this planet and the one he hated the most of out anyone had stood behind him.

This was it.

This was truly the end for Anthony Edward Stark.

For real this time, no bullshit.

“It is! Stark, hey buddy how you been!” The obnoxious voice of none other than Justin Hammer pounded itself into Tony’s ears.

Tony’s hands were stuffed in his jacket pocket as he turned to Hammer with the fakest smile he could muster up. Hammer was still as fake as the damn Easter Bunny. His smile was much more forced than Tony’s and his eyes were unreadable and menacing behind those cheapy ass plastic glasses. “Why are you talking to me?”

“HA! HA!” Hammer let out a loud laugh in the cafe, bringing the attention to them. “Oh Stark, boy you were always a kidder. You haven’t changed a bit since our fun times at SHIELD. Ha…good times.”

Tony couldn’t help himself. He let out a laugh too and pat Hammer on the arm and looked up to him with bright eyes. Hammer’s eyes seeming to fill with…hope? “Fun times? Hammer. I hate you. I enjoy the company of head lice more than I enjoy you. When you were fired, I threw a party to celebrate. It was a nice party, I even invited you remember? I do. It was great. Hey, you were there too!” Tony smiled at one of the blonde bartista’s at the counter. Catherine? Christine? Whatever her name was. The woman looked up with a smile and nodded slightly. “See, she remembers. You? You weren’t there. I wanted you there, buddy.”

Hammer’s mouth opened as if he were trying to say something, but he couldn’t find anything to say except “I was not fired.”

“Yeah.”

“No…i wasn’t.”

“You were fired, you had to stop drop and roll.”

“No-”

“You got the pink slip. It was three shades of pink because you were so so fired.”

“I wasn’t fired. You must have heard the wrong version of the story. It happens.” Hammer’s smile started to falter at this point.

Tony smirked and walked to the counter when it was his turn and simply said to the blond bartista, handing her his credit card. “The regular, babe. Throw in a suspended coffee.”

Hammer fidgeted with his hands as he was now faced to the back of Tony’s head. Embarrassment and anger now fueling his thoughts and started to seep through his demeanor. “I am the co-owner of Red Hammer, you know? I’m in a much higher position than you are at your precious little SHIELD.” He challenged.

“Yeah, after you were…” Tony lifted his hands up, made a fake rainbow with them while singing “….fiiiiiired.”

“You’re a son of a bitch you know that, Stark?” Hammer growled angrily.

“Well aware. Ladies and gentleman, the real Justin Hammer.” Tony smiled as he took his coffee that was handed to him by the bartista. His smiled faded as he looked right into Hammer’s eyes, his gaze turning dark. “A loser.”

With that, Tony walked past him with his head held high, sipping at his coffee.

Hammer watched Tony go with fire fueling in his eyes. Hammer did the things he did because he was so tired of being last place all the time. He was tired of always being on the bottom. Being the laughing stock…and he wouldn’t have to be if Tony Stark wasn’t in his way all the time. Hammer made it a personal goal to one day be better than his rival. Yes, Tony was his rival…even if Tony didn’t see him as a threat. That was good. That way, Hammer could slip out the rug right under Tony’s little perfect shoes and personally send him to the bottom. Tony would slip up. One day he would. And when he did. He will be there….

One day.

“Are you going to order sometime today?!” The bartista asked impatiently for the 7th time.

Hammer blinked from his thoughts and put back on his fake smile. He leaned against the counter and smiled to her. “The regular, babe.”

The bartista deadpanned. “I don’t even know you.”

“Oh, then a cup of milk….” Hammer sighed wearily.

* * *

“Mmmm, yes baby yes. I need you mmm…” Tony moaned as he stepped into the break room of SHIELD. The break room was big and comfortable looking compared to the usual dingy break rooms most stores had. This was SHIELD after all, they had the money for this. There were couches, a television, vending machines, a refrigerator, a sink, cabinets, a microwave, toaster, a huge table to sit and eat and lockers for the employees to put their things in. It was empty in here, so no one got to hear his moans of joy at the warm caffeinated drink. God, it felt too good going down his throat right now. Tony could slowly feel his energy coming back to him.

After throwing his jacket in the locker, Tony walked over toward the offices to clock in. There were three offices, one for Coulson. One for Hill, and one for Fury…oh god Fury’s door was cracked open just a little bit. He was really here today. Woo, then good, glad he didn’t decide to ditch. After clocking into the computer, Tony and his precious coffee snuck over to listen in on Fury. He caught a glimpse of someone else in his office.

Loki.

Tony moved on over closer to listen in, crouching down at the door and sipping his coffee. His interest was much higher than it had been.

“…for taking this offer, Mr. Laufeyson. I know you’re going to do great working at our SHIELD. I heard nothing but great things from you at Jotunheim.”

“I thank you kindly for this opportunity, Mr. Fury. I pride myself on being a hard worker and providing customers with the utmost service. I ranked higher than my peers on store reviews.”

Oh shit. Fury was going to knock his ass down a peg now.

“Yeah, well. I will see about that.”

“You shall.”

Such sass!

“People talk the talk, Laufeyson…I can tell you are good with words, but words don’t impress me much. I am about action, and If I don’t see you perform then you will be cut.”

“Threatening me on the first day, Mr. Fury?”

“This is not a threat. This is a guarantee, Laufeyson.”

“Great. Nice to be reassured that you take this job as seriously as I do.”

Tony was thoroughly impressed. Not many people could hold their own against Nick Fury. The only ones who could were working in this store right now. I guess that’s a criteria for working at this place. If you can sass Nick Fury, you’re able to work at a fancy department store.

Tony didn’t realize he had been leaning against the door until it opened and he felt himself falling sideways. “Shit!” Tony called,his first priority was the coffee. He lifted it up in air in a firm grasp so it wouldn’t spill out as the rest of his body hit the floor.

“Stark! Really?!” Fury yelled out looking down to Tony.

“Heeeyyy. Fury…been a while.” Tony smiled up to him weakly. Fury was a tall older black man, who wore an eye patch. No one actually knew the story of what happened to Fury’s eye…and no one was dumb enough to ask. Tony turned his head and smiled up to Loki who was looking…quite surprised. “Hey Loki.”

“Get your dumb ass off my floor!” Fury commanded and Tony quickly got to his feet. “What the hell are you doing?”

“I wanted to say hi to my favorite, most best boss on the plan-”

Fury was not amused at all, and Tony noticed that and just stopped talking. “Loki, this is Tony Stark. Stark, Loki Laufeyson…but it seems you both met.”

“Yeah, I was providing excellent customer service and helped him find Coulson’s office.” Tony said proudly sipping at his coffee.

“I was doing fine finding Phil Coulson’s office without your help.” Loki said simply, crossing his legs in the chair and looked up to Tony.

Tony just looked down to Loki. He was…a lot dryer than yesterday. His hair perfectly slicked back, his clothes pressed and fitting his slim form perfectly. Loki looked like some kind of exotic prince that didn’t belong working in a department store none the less on the planet Earth.

“Stark.” Fury called unnecessarily loudly right in Tony’s ear.

Tony winced as he slowly turned to Fury, annoyed “Oh god, what?”

“Give Laufeyson a tour of the store. I was going to have Rogers do it, but you practically volunteered yourself.”

“I doubt I need a tour. I have enough competence to figure this place out on my own.” Loki scoffed as he crossed his arms.

“I was just about to say the same thing. He’s obviously smart.” Tony added in with an eye roll.

“Even if I weren’t, I did notice those very ugly signs hanging up to direct me to the departments.”

“You think they’re ugly?” Tony turned to Loki, who nodded in agreement. He turned back to Fury “See! I told you those signs were ugly, Fury!”

“Hideous. Whoever agreed they matched the themes of the store were obviously color blind…” Loki shrugged simply.

Tony scratched at his beard “Probably something darker…”

“Navy Blue.” Tony and Loki blurted out at the same time to each other.

“I did not ask for YOUR BACKTALK!” Fury’s voice somehow got louder than usual as he walked toward Tony and Loki. Loki’s legs lifted to to his knees and his back pressing against his chair while Tony backed up really quickly, falling into the chair next to Loki as Fury towered them both. “I said, I will repeat this, give Laufeyson a tour. I ain’t stuttering, I ain’t slurring, I am being clear? Am I being clear?:” They both nodded furiously,

Fury relaxed and smiled to them both. “Good. Also, a friendly reminder about customer service. The customer is ALWAYS right. No matter what stupid ass explanations and reasoning they might have. Clear?”

“Yes.” Nodded Loki.

“Yes sir, yes yep. Right.” Tony smiled innocently.

“Any of those people could be secret shoppers. The last thing we want is someone blasting it on the internet that they were mentally belittled by some loose mouthed assholes.” Fury smiled to them pretty deadly. Tony was about to say something, but Fury noticed and stepped more forward. Tony just threw his coffee to his lips and chugged it. “You both understand?”

“Yes.”

“I understand, Mr. Fury.”

“Good. Now go out there and do your jobs.” Fury commanded.

The two men jumped out of their chairs and ran right for the door. The both of them getting stuck for a moment, until Tony got down and slipped between Loki’s legs. Loki damn near tripped over him, but managed to get out and close the door behind him.

Fury watched the scene tiredly “I’m getting too old for this bullshit.”

* * *

“Don’t worry.” Tony assured Loki as the two of them were practically running out of the office area and heading toward the sales floor. “He’s usually never here. He has other SHIELD stores to mentally destroy people at.”

“That is actually reassuring.” Loki sighed out, that was a situation he did not want to find himself back in anytime soon. Fury was quite the force to be reckoned with, even if he didn’t want to admit it.

“So tour….” Tony said as he spun around to face Loki once they got on the sales floor. “It’s a bit busy today so we’re really just going to-”

“-take laps around and see who needs help.” Loki finished the sentence simply.

Tony sighed with a smile “This tour is pointless. But I won’t risk Fury coming out and not seeing us together.”

“I agree. Tour me.” Loki stretched his arm out as a sign to let Tony lead the way.

And touring is what Tony did. He first showed Loki the Electronics department. Which was filled with people but a brunette woman was running around tending to each customer with enthusiasm that was rather refreshing to Loki. Tony mentioned to Loki the woman’s name. Darcy. Apparently she was an assistant manager who would have taken Loki’s spot if he had declined the position…well awkward. Next Tony showed Loki the clothing department. Men’s, Women, Children and everything in between. Sizes ranging from petite to plus. Loki remembered how sloppy his old store got on a busy day…but all the clothing areas were SPOTLESS. It was magical and almost unreal. A Steve Rogers ran this department, Tony claimed Rogers was a by the book guy so he spent a lot of time making sure things were in order and, according to Tony, being a hard ass.

They headed on over to the sporting goods department where the familiar face of Clint Barton was trying to sell bikes to a family of six. Tony noted that Clint also ran the Toys department right next to the sporting goods. He didn’t have to show Loki customer service or Pepper because they had met. Which was was great because he promised to pick Pepper up one of those nasty ass pumpkin latte’s this morning and totally forgot. He honestly forgot thanks to Hammer. Loki was shown the stock room, and Tony gave him a briefing over where all the stock went. Tony actually had to do this because it was rather sloppy back there. Bruce Banner, who was in charge of freight and stock, was a bit….sloppy? Tony loved the man dearly, but it was hard stocking the shelves when everything was in random places only Bruce knew about. Sometimes…it was as if Bruce would do these things on purpose just to piss off everyone.

“Can we go to the kitchen department now?” Loki asked rather bored of this tour by now.

Tony looked up to him with a wicked smile “Can you please stop asking me to do uncomfortable things?”

“What the hell is wrong with that department?” Loki asked harshly, he used Tony’s own trick against him and stepped in front of the brunet, looking down to him impatiently. “It’s not funny, is that where you people hide the bodies?”

Tony’s eyes shifted back and forth, smiling up to the taller figure “You see…the kitchen department-”

“Excuse me! Excuse me!!” A very pregnant woman called wildly as she hobbled down the aisle toward them both. A man was right behind her with a huge cart packed with pretty much everything from the baby department.

“Yes! Yes! Hello, ma’am! How are you today?” Tony exaggerated happily as he walked around Loki to greet the woman. Loki rolled his eyes and turned to face the woman, his face turning bright and happy as Tony continued “Thank you for being alive. What can we help you with?”

“Me and the misses here need some help in the furniture department. There’s a crib we are planning to buy but we need advice…no one’s in the department to help.” The man said overly excited when he caught up with his wife.

“We will gladly assist you, ma’am. Please follow me.” Loki smiled as he escorted them to the furniture department.

Tony skipped quickly to catch up with him. He leaned in and whispered “You sure you got this?”

Loki looked to Tony out the corner of his eyes “I am sure if I get stuck, you will be there to help me even if I don’t want it.”

“Shit. You learn quick.”

Wow, the furniture department was much bigger than Loki had expected. It was almost like a baby IKEA in here…all they needed was a damn food court. The woman grabbed Loki by the arm and dragged him across to the baby furniture and placed him right in front of a crib.

“This is what I want.” The woman said happily…still holding onto Loki’s arm, making him feel terribly uncomfortable. “ _The Big Durable Child’s Crib That Will Last Forever Model 4556-e4_.”

“This was the only store that carried it.” The man said jabbing his elbow into Tony’s shoulder excitedly. “Seen it online but I don’t trust them there internets.”

Tony smiled weakly trying to suppress the painful elbow “Yeah yeah, please stop that.”

“Wait.” Loki paused as he shook the woman off his arm and walked to the crib and picked up the price tag. He placed a hand over his mouth and looked to the woman. “Ma’am you do know this crib…I assume you both know how much this crib is...”

“Yeah, $7,345.99! This crib is supposed to last for YEARS. We plan on having lots of babies before my uterus dries out.” The woman cheered happily. “We want something we can throw all our babies in so we don’t have to keep buying cribs.”

Tony just looked at Loki with his jaw on the floor while Loki still looked in disbelief as he looked down to the model crib then back to the bright smiling woman. “Of course! We can get you one right now. No problem!”

“Buuuuut.” The man stopped just as he walked to the crib and smiled up to Loki…standing dangerously close to him.

Did no one in Midgard believe in personal space?!?

“We want to make sure we are getting our money’s worth.” The man smiled happily as he pat Loki on the arm. “This crib is supposed to hold up to 300 pounds. Prove it.”

“P-prove it?” Loki’s eyebrows rose high in confusion “Come again?”

“Get in the crib silly.” The woman smiled, Tony burst out in laughter.

The blood rushed to Loki’s cheeks. Never had he been requested to do something…so…stupid. The raven haired man was already sick of all these shenanigans and Tony laughing did not help one bit. He was close to telling the woman to piss off, and suggest take a shower because she stunk, when he glanced down the aisle to see Nick Fury simply standing there by the offices looking back up the aisle at him with his one eye.

_Also, a friendly reminder about customer service. The customer is ALWAYS right. No matter what stupid ass explanations and reasoning they might have. Clear?_

Loki didn’t give himself time to think about all the reasons why this was a bad idea as he climbed over into the model crib. He was barely sitting in it, his long legs dangled over the gate of the crib and his arms tried to grip to the sides, but he slipped and all his weight was in the crib.

“Wow it holds him!” The woman laughed out happily as he rubbed her huge stomach. Meanwhile, Tony was leaning on another crib dying of laughter.

“I know I like look quite enormous and large….” Loki started with a sickeningly sweet tone of voice, his eyes shooting over to Tony before looking up at the couple. “…but I am not 300 pounds. One of me in here will not give you accurate proof that this crib can hold up to its capacity.”

“He’s right!” The man realized as he ran over to Tony, who had stopped laughing and almost broke out into a run but was caught by the arm. “You get in there too, son!”

“I…no, I don’t do well in tight spaces…” Tony stuttered as he was being pulled over against his will. He too saw Fury creeping at the end of the aisle. Now he had no choice anymore. Tony got out of the man’s grip and just about jumped in the crib beside Loki “Move over, fatty.”

Loki was now regretting having said anything. Not only was he a grown man sitting in a crib…he was now squashed in a crib with Tony’s wider body pushing up against his. It was a really tight fit but they somehow managed to fit inside together….oh my god that sounded way too wrong.

“Wow…I guess it is durable after all.” The woman blinked in awe.

“We’ll take two!” The man shouted happily.

The two managers exchanged weary looks before looking up to them couple in smiles.

“Great!” Loki smiled

“Awesome-tastic!” chirped Tony.

“Yes. Just…just continue your shopping and we can…have two sent to the front…” Loki said unsure as he looked to Tony. “Can we have two sent to the front?”

“Yeah, we can send it to their car too.” Tony assured him.

“That is quality customer service! Thank you both for your help! You made our lives so much easier.” The woman said sincerely.

“We’re gonna tell your bosses how great you were! Thank you!” The man said happily as he and the woman headed back to the cart and continued on with their shopping for they were obviously gonna be here for a while.

Tony and Loki just sat there in the crib watching the customers go away…and even after they were gone they just sat there in silence for a moment.

“Tell me this isn’t something that happens on a regular basics…” Loki asked in a whine, trying to pull himself up out of the crib.

“This isn’t something that happens on a regular basics.” Tony repeated, he let out a hiss when Loki tried to move. “Ow ow ow, no. Don’t move that way. Bad leg bad leg…”

Loki stopped and plopped back down in the crib, he turned his head around to see if he could spot Fury but…of course he was gone. “Then you try to get out first.”

“Okay.” Tony grabbed the top of the gate and slowly lifted himself up, very carefully at first. He got a bit ahead of himself when he sat found himself sitting on the gate and he immediately fell over it and hit the floor hard.

“Jesus christ, Tony.” Loki grabbed the edges of the crib and shot himself out if it, making a much more graceful landing than Tony. “Are you okay?”

Tony let out a strained laugh as he climbed to his knees and smiled at Loki. “Hey, you know my name.”

“You told me more than once, idiot.” Loki rolled his eyes as he carefully took Tony’s arm and helped him up to his feet. He repeated more hasrhly “Are you okay?”

“I’ll live. Been through worse. One time I fell off a ladder. That kind of hurt…a whole lot.” Tony smiled happily as he straightened out his clothing and gently brushed over his hair. “Hey, we should probably call the hottie in charge of this department to come get the cribs. He’s a really nice guy. Sunny, beefy, blond….hey. You can officially tell Fury to kiss your ass! You sold over $14,000 worth of merch today. On your official first day!” He went on all too quickly.

Loki lost Tony when he mentioned a sunny, beefy, blonde somebody. It immediately reminded him of someone close to him…would close even be the word anymore? He wasn’t exactly sure at the moment. It was an entirely different situation he tried not to think of. He tuned back in to catch the end of Tony’s rambling. “Go me. Is this how we make sales? Getting manhandled by strangers and degrading ourselves in various ways?”

“Why do you think we get paid so much?” Tony was about to ramble on when his eyes lit up. “Oh, there he is. Hey Thor! THOOOR! Get your ass over here, we need you to do some heavy lifting!”

Loki must have misheard Tony. Yeah, he misheard Tony. Thor wasn’t here. Not the Thor he knew. Not the Thor he grew up with. No way. When Loki would turn to look, it would be an entirely different person. Not Thor-

Okay, what the fuck was Thor doing here?!?

Thor’s pale blue eyes shone bright and his mouth widened into that big bright stupid smile that Loki had not forgotten over the years. Thor’s perfect hair swayed behind him like a perfect breeze as he ran to Loki at full speed. Loki was too frozen in shock for this was the absolute last thing he had expected. Thor wrapped his big arms around Loki, making him look even smaller in comparison, and lifted him off his feet and into a tight hug.

“LITTLE BROTHER! I have been awaiting your arrival since mother informed me of your transfer!” Thor said in his usual loud tone as he continued hugging the life out of Loki…who was rather limp in Thor’s embrace with a look of confusion and pure horror.

Tony just watched the scene with fascination...he does not regret coming to work today afterall.


	3. Stand in the Shadows

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Today we learn more about Loki's past...and a little bit of Thor and Asgard. Tony and Loki have a kinda deep moment in the curtains department and Thor accidentally scares the shit out of everyone with his loud voice. Clint and Steve are there for a bit.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Soooooooo sorry about how long this chapter took. I could blame NaNoWriMo but I wont....even if it is NaNo's fault. This chapter doesn't seem as fun because of Thor and Loki's...'thing'...but hey we all need a little drama llama and stuff! Things will work out hopefully soon! Enjoy! :D

“Loki Laufeyson is that little brother you obsess about Thor?!?” Clint asked surprised at the big muscular blond.

So, everyone had heard Thor shouting throughout the store in cheer over seeing the _brother_ Thor talked about every chance he got. Seriously, Thor talked about his _brother_ so much…people either stopped believing he was real or that Thor was sleeping with him. Though they never told the jolly bearded man this to his face. Oh god, Thor was not the person to piss off. Unless you liked flipped tables and broken appliances. Why do you think they didn’t have a coffee maker anymore? They were currently in the process of putting money together for a Keurig, hoping Thor didn’t get angry and break that.

Both claims were proven false thanks to the other residents of Asgard that worked there. Sif; one of the leaders in loss prevention, Fandral; the flirtatious cashier, Volstagg and Hogun; both assisted Bruce in the back with stock and freight. Yeah…apparently they all grew up together in Asgard, along with Thor’s little brother.

It’s no coincidence that they all work at the same place either.

Thor had been hired as a sales associate for the holiday season about two years ago. Fury was impressed by his serious dedication and ability to communicate with others so well…as in Thor was hot, people came to see him and he could get them to buy things. This was all in the course of two months. Fury hired Thor and he very quickly moved to a management position..after some lessons in handling customers who didn’t succumb to his sunny vibes. Later on in the year, Fury asked him if he knew anyone who needed work who could handle the pressures of working at SHIELD.

The next day, four more asguardians showed up first thing in the morning at the doors, beaming happily and eager to work.

Not that they really needed the money. If you live in Asgard…you’re set. You are in a town known for it’s wealth and stability. There was seldom any violence. Maybe the kind of dramas and mischief you get from bored rich kids, but nothing damaging or deadly. You got top notch education and it was a pretty diverse place to live dispute it being a wealthy community. All of it run by the well respected Mayor Odinson.

Thor’s dad.

But no one outside of Asgard really paid much attention to their politics. They knew Asgard as being full of rich crazy people. Really rich and really crazy people.

“I do not obsess over my brother.” Thor said shooting a look to Clint. “…but yes he is my brother.”

Thor, Clint and Steve were all sitting in the break room, their breaks being roughly around the same time. Loki had once again become the topic of the break room but not because he was new…but that guy was Thor’s BROTHER.

Clint had probably asked that question a dozen times already but he still couldn’t believe it “How come you never told us this before? That he was gonna switch here?”

“I wanted to surprise him…and surprise you all as well.” Thor claimed before sipping on some coffee.

“He didn’t look surprised.” Steve said in that tone he made when he was about to get real with you. Clint noticed and let out a sigh, Steve continued on “He looked really…ticked off.”

“He was pissed. I saw it.” Clint claimed.

“How? You were in Toys.” Steve challenged.

Clint smirked as he picked up his water bottle, that was totally not vodka, and sipped at it “I see it all, Steve. I’m like a hawk, baby.”

“More like a beheaded turkey.” Thor laughed out loud and Steve chuckled along with him.

Clint pouted heavily “That’s how it is? Gang up on Clint? That’s not even fair…”

Steve put a hand on Clint’s shoulder “Natasha’s back from her vacation…she should be here sometime this week.”

“What the hell is that supposed to mean? She is the founder of the ‘Gang up on Clint’ club.” Clint’s eyes widened slightly.

“She obviously harbors a crush on you. She picks at you the most.” Thor teased as he started to go back to his huge meatball sub.

“Don’t talk to me about crushes. Not until you talk to…” Clint stood up in his chair and made googly eyes and clasped his hands together. His tone high pitched ”…Ms. Jane Foster…”

Thor damn near choked on his sandwich at the mention. Steve slapped a hand on his back to get the food out of his throat. Once he was clear, he stood up. “DO NOT START BARTON.”

“You totally just sit on a field in Asgard and pick flowers.” Clint’s voice deepened into a mockery of Thor’s “She does loves me…SHE DOES NOT LOVE ME…she does loves me…SHE DOES NOT LOVE ME!!”

“The both of you calm down. Do we need the 'black friday incident' repeat?” Steve was now on his feet and shooting serious looks to both men. Clint was taking it a bit too far, but he didn’t mean to. Clint was simply being Clint. Steve knew Thor’s reasons why he didn’t try to court the lovely college student and that’s because everyone tells Steve everything — even if he really didn’t wish to know. Steve was a confidant by nature. You can call him a hard ass, by the book, brown noser…but he had the biggest heart.

Too bad Steve was just too selfless to notice those traits himself. 

Clint and Thor immediately sat down by the mention of the 'black friday incident'…codename: Do NOT even pretend to fight when Maria Hill is around. It was a scary thing that hopefully didn’t reoccur this black friday.

It wasn’t even quiet for a minute before Clint asked Thor in a serious manner.

“So why does he look nothing like you? Or your parents?”

Steve turned to Thor as well. It was something he was going to ask him one on one but since it was brought up…

“He’s adopted.” Thor replied simply.

* * *

 

“Loookiii.” Tony peaked out from a set of curtains in Loki’s department. Loki had spent most of the day organizing the decor department to his liking for it had been neglected something terrible while there was no one managing the department. Loki had paid no mind to Tony’s random appearance, he simply kept re-organizing the packages. “Quick question, here. You still mad?”

“Not mad.”

“Oh.” Tony said simply. Loki didn’t sound mad….but when the taller figure menacingly started to turn around it was obvious he still had some rage left in him.

“You know.” Loki finished his organizing and slowly turned to Tony. “I’m going to have to buy a pack of gold stars just because you’re so smart and observant.”

Tony let out a gasp of ‘surprise’ “And here I thought you didn’t like me!”

“It obviously doesn’t matter what I like. You keep popping up.” Loki smirked.

“You could tell me to go away.”

“I did.”

“…I am not very good at following directions, I guess. You can’t blame me, you’re like a magnet.” Tony teased with a flirtatious smile. Loki wasn’t very amused and simply closed the curtains in Tony’s face and walked away.

Tony walked around the display, once again finding himself trying to keep up with the newbie.

“How long has he been here?” Loki asked almost in a whisper as he walked toward the curtains…why were all the hideous curtains on display? This was a mess and a half.

Tony took the hint and his voice dropped to a lower tone “Two years. Started off as seasonal and Fury had to have him. First time Fury’s done that since I worked here.”

Loki let out a loud laugh, though it was obviously one of those forced pained laughs.

“It doesn’t surprise me at all….” Loki was still smiling that sad smile. He mindlessly just stroked at one of the horrible curtains. Ugly ugly curtains. God they were so fucking ugly.

Tony didn’t say anything, he just looked up and down the aisle they found themselves in making sure no one was tuning in.

“I knew Midgard was too close.” Loki sighed as his hands were now fisting into the curtains. He turned to Tony with that soft look on his face Tony had seen the night before. He said almost poetically “Tell me Tony, do you know how it feels to stand in the shadows?”

Tony was halfway expecting that question. The obvious game couldn’t be more obvious right now. Loki had some sort of deep grudge against Thor…and either Thor didn’t know or he pretended not to know. It wasn’t because Thor didn’t care…this was the HANDSOME, HIGHLY INTELLIGENT, SHARP AS A TACK LITTLE BROTHER Thor never shut up about.

Then again, Tony was making assumptions. He didn’t know Loki, he only knew Thor.

But Tony did know how it felt to stand in the shadows. He had been a shadow. In that dark place where he wasn’t exactly sure who he was and what he was doing. Having someone who could do it better standing ten feet taller than you giving you no light or life...just taking whatever light or life that you had.

“Yeah.” Tony answered sincerely, his brown eyes softening to Loki’s. “It sucks.”

Loki’s eyes filled with rage for a moment, as if he were expecting Tony to flat out lie to him. Like other people that would try to relate just to see how much they can milk out of you until snap out of the angry stupor.

But Loki’s eyes softened when he realized that Tony wasn’t lying. His big brown eyes were always so expressive and right now, so easily read. Loki recognized those eyes, because they mirrored his own.

“So you’re new to Midgard right? Well how would you like a tour?” Tony asked brightly trying to change the subject. “I know, the last tour sucked and we ended up with our asses rubbing on each other but this time we won’t have Fury breathing down our necks and oh! If people ask us to do stupid shit we can punch them in the tit!”

Loki looked down to Tony feeling confused…again. Tony just smiled that stupid dorky yet insanely charming smile. What was this man’s motive? Why was he being so damn nice? He was so strange…one minute he’s annoying the hell out of him, the next he felt a deep connection with him and now the man was offering to spend time outside work with him? Did he feel sorry for him? How close was he to Thor? How much did Thor tell? What does he know about him through Thor? Why wasn’t he talking about Thor and his relation to him?! 

“Or we can punch them in the face, if you’re more comfortable with that!” Tony offered, breaking Loki from his thoughts. “Anywhere you want to hit is fine, I will be okay with that as long as it’s not me and if you have to hit me…not the face. I like my face. Especially without bruises and scars and blood. Off limits. No face.”

“I prefer kicking them in the nuts.” Loki commented with a smile, his arms crossing themselves elegantly.

“That a yes?” Tony asked mocking Loki’s gesture.

“Well…I am sure I will be stuck in this city more than I want to, so a tour doesn’t sound bad.” Loki said nonchalantly. “How’s Sunday?”

Tony uncrossed his arms and placed them on Loki’s, looking up to him excitedly “Sunday is perfect! I am off on Sunday! Do you want me to pick you up? I can pick you up! Or you can pick me up and we can go together. I don’t mind either way.”

“Personal spaaaace!” Loki warned sternly and Tony threw his hands off of Loki’s arms and smiled apologetically. “I said don’t touch me. Do you remember that?”

Tony pretended to think about that question for a moment “Vaguely.”

“It would be more convenient if I drove here.” Loki replied to the earlier question with a sigh.

“I know where Jotunheim is. I could pick you up and bring you down here.” Tony offered happily “You save gas AND get a tour. Wow, that is so nice of me, right?”

Loki threw his hands up defeated “Sure yes. Do whatever you like. Maybe you can throw in a home cooked meal in there too?”

“Yeah!” Tony said without thinking at all “I can throw in a meal too! I got this Loki. I’m such a hospitable guy you will be surprised I am not a professional…hospitality man.”

“Oh, I HAVE to see that.” Loki’s thin lips curled upwards into a smile and his eyes grew menacing again. “I look forward to this tour, Tony Stark.” With a laugh Tony turned away and headed down the aisle until he was out of sight.

Tony just smiled dreamingly to himself alone in the aisle. Loki had really accepted his offer to take him out. Tony had really expected for Loki to tell him to piss off but…maybe the other really didn’t dislike him. Well, Tony knew that. People who don’t like people tend to stay away from them…and Loki could have always said no. Whatever the case, he was going to hang out with Loki. Hopefully the tour of the city will be a lot less strenuous and daunting because they didn’t have _Patchy the Pirate_ hovering over them from the shadows.

Tony really looked forward to it.

“Oh my god….I can’t…fucking…coooook.” Tony gasped dramatically as he placed his hands on his face and pulled at his skin. “I gotta get help! Can Pepper cook? She has boobs, of course she can cook!”

“ **Anthony!** ” A voice boomed right from behind him.

Tony shrieked and spun around quickly throwing his hands up in a poor fighting stance. He looked up to see a concerned looking Thor looking down at him “Oh…hey…Thor…what. Why are you so damn loud?”

“My apologies, Anthony, I didn’t mean to startle you.” Thor apologized as he took the liberty to straighten out Tony’s shirt and fix some loose hairs on his head. “I need your advice.”

“Advice? Me? You need advice from me?” Tony let out a loud laugh at that. “Where’s Steve?”

“Preoccupied at the moment.” Thor admitted with a small smile.

“If it’s about Jane—”

“Not Jane. My brother.”

Tony kind of narrowed his eyes and raised an eyebrow “That isn’t weird at all.”

“I have kept my employment with SHIELD a secret from Loki since I knew he worked at the one in Jotunheim. I was afraid if he would find out he would be mad at me.” Thor explained.

“That blew up in your face pretty badly.” Tony laughed, but Thor didn’t. Tony shut up.

“So when I found out he was going to move to this SHIELD…I figured this to be the best opportunity to tell him.”

“Alright I get it. Your plans fucked all up in your face. What is the advice part?”

“People are mad at you all the time. How do you get them to forgive you?” Thor asked way too innocently. He smiled cutely and his big arms were behind his back.

Tony just looked at him with his mouth agape. Should he be insulted?! “Uh…wow. I um…”

“I’m ready for your wisdom.” Thor said as he pulled a pen and tiny notepad from his back pocket, seriously ready to write. Tony was starting to feel insulted now.

“…talk to him? When people are mad at me…I talk to them. Don’t wait for them to talk to you first because that gives them just enough time to let their angry feelings grow into a big nasty grudge monster.” Tony said surely, the words spilling out of his mouth as if he actually knew what he was talking about. No one actually forgave Tony for his obnoxious ways...they just accepted it.

Yeah, he was making this shit up as he went.

“That…that is very good advice!” Thor said with shining eyes as he quickly scribbled something down on the little notebook.

“Really? I uh…mean yes! Yes. It is very great advice." Tony knew this 'secret' wasnt the cause of Loki's anger. So...he tried a different approach "Uh…how long has it been since you talked to Loki before today?” 

Thor put the pen to his mouth and hummed, Tony noticed a bit of shame wash over his face before he answered in the lowest tone he had heard the man use yet “Since March?”

Tony let out a small sigh and walked over to the huge man. He lifted his arm up and placed a hand on his shoulder “Thor.”

“Yes?” Thor replied timidly.

“It’s October.” Tony looked up to him with high eyebrows.

Thor bit his lip “I knoooooow.”

“Look, big guy.” Tony looked Thor directly in those beautiful blue yes…damn. He had to be related to Loki just look at those eyes, man. Alluring...eyes...“Just talk to him. After work. Like talk to him. Serious bro feelings talk. Or you can just tell your Mom on him. Siblings do that right?”

“I think I shall talk to my brother.” Thor’s eyes shone happily and his voice was back it’s loud and strong tone. “Thank you, Anthony. Your advice was wonderful!” He cheered as he picked Tony up into a hug and squeezed tight.

“Ooooh yeah you’re welcome! You’re welcome! Oh ow.” Tony gasped out as the man was literally crushing him. “Yes, please stop. Bones. Need bones. Air too. Air…it’s getting dark.”

* * *

 

Finally the day was done and Loki quickly hauled ass out of SHIELD. He still didn’t get to meet everyone else but it was a busy day so he didn’t expect to. He spent his time trying to change the domestics department to his liking and helping customers find things that were right in front of their faces. It was fine…it was all fine. Even getting his ass stuck in a crib was fine…but then Thor pops out of thin..or rather big fat muscular air. He thoguht he would never have to see Thor again unless he willed it...but the universe was not on his side. He had his reaosn fo leaving Asgard afterall.

After leaving for Jotunheim years ago, Loki slowly stopping keeping consistent contact with his family. He used to come every holiday…but it slowly just dwindled to Christmas. He stayed home last Thanksgiving. He had to work that evening for black friday and happily used it as an excuse to not travel to Asgard.  Loki loved his family. He loved his parents and brother…but he just didn’t feel like he belonged in Asgard. So he left to Jotunheim.

Why? Well on his official birth certificate it said that was his place of birth. So maybe he belonged there...that's what a still rather naive 18 year old Loki thought. Loki had no interest in looking for his birth parents. That sounded too messy and emotionally draining. Loki knew he was adopted since he could remember. It wasn't a terribly big secret. He was content with Odin and Frigga as his parents. He just…wanted to stop depending on them. They were rich, he could live off them forever…and it seemed like that was Thor’s plans…but Loki wanted his own things. He was tired of having a curfew, tired of having to beg to use the car, tired of his mother barging in his room with fresh baked cookies when his ex-girlfriend, Sigyn, was in bed with him doing rather adult things.

Most of all, he was tired of Thor. Thor was handsome, charming and was friends with everyone. Loki was quiet, timid and bookish. They were polar opposites to say the very least. Thor was a biiiiit overprotective of Loki and was constantly trying to get him to make more friends and play more games...but Loki really loathed Thor's friends and the stupid games they played. Loki liked being to himself and making his own friends...he didn't have a lot but he was fine with that. He didn't like sports, he loved indulging himself in a good book...or maybe doing some writing of his own. Loki never told him that. He would just put up with whatever Thor wanted to do. He would always be with Thor as his quiet little shadow. Waiting for Thor to make his next move and he would follow along like a little puppy. He was sick of depending on Thor.

Loki just wanted to be independent.

And he felt he had to let go of his family to get that. 

Even if he truly did love them.

When Loki reached his car, he dug in his coat pocket to find his keys, but they weren’t there. With a growl he reached to dig into his pants pocket. Right when he grabbed onto them, a figure popped up from behind him and said in a booming voice that echoed through the parking lot.

“ **Loki!** ”

Loki spun around and grabbed the figure by the wrist, easily twirling the bigger weight up against his car. He put the end of the biggest key against the figure’s neck and was about to press when he recognized Thor’s face smiling up at him.

“Brother! I have never seen you with such fight in you! You are quite scarier looking than usual!” Thor beamed very proudly despite the metal against his neck and Loki’s hand pressing Thor against the car.

“You idiot. What the bloody hell is your problem? Do you not know how to address someone without scaring the shit out of them?!” Loki snapped out as he pulled back his key and his arm. Letting the bigger man free as he caught his breath from the slight shock.

Thor shrugged slowly “I am sorry. I just wanted to catch you before you left.”

“What. Do. You. Want. THOR?” Loki asked annoyed for he was starting to get cold standing outside.

“I apologize for not telling you about my employment with SHIELD sooner.” Thor said quickly.

Loki lifted an eyebrow “I do not care where you work, Thor. It is not against the law for us both to work here. We are technically not related.”

“Must you always bring that up?” Thor asked angrily, and it amused Loki that even after so long he was able to easily get under his perfect brother’s skin so easily.

“I am simply stating facts.” Loki shrugged with a smirk.

There was a silence between the two. Loki just looked up to Thor with that devilish smirk while Thor’s face was serious and a bit red.

“How is…Jotunheim? Are you okay there?” Thor asked after he calmed down a bit.

“Peachy. Now can I go now? I am cold.” Loki asked shortly. Thor could see his paitence was wearing thin and decided to go for an alternate tactic.

“Mother is planning a big dinner next weekend. I am sure she would love to see you.” Thor tried as he too was starting to get cold and he shoved his hands in his pants pockets. He knew he was ignoring the elephant in the room....parking lot...but knowing his ill-temperted brother, a serious conversation will end up in a shouting match. He knew Fury might still be around and he didn't want to risk Maria Hill popping out of somewhere. Even if this was the parking lot, it was still SHIELD  property. “Father too.”

“Thor, that’s not a good idea.” Loki said simply as he turned to get into the driver side, but Thor gently took his arm. Loki didn’t look back to him.

“Please? We miss you, Loki.” Thor pleaded gently as he slowly pulled Loki away from the car and into his arms for a hug. Loki sighed loudly like a child would at a nagging mother as he let Thor pull him into the hug. “I know we have not been on good terms. I know I am to blame, but you are as well. We can talk. We can work it out."

Loki just stood into Thor’s big warm hug…trying not to admit to himself how he missed the warmth and security of his brother’s arms…when they weren’t squeezing the life out of him.

“Think about it. We will be seeing a lot of each other now so…you can give me your answer.” Thor said happily as he squeezed Loki gently before letting him go. “Think about it Loki. Okay? You’ll think about it? Huh? Will you?”

“Oh, YES. Yes Thor, shut up. I will think about it.” Loki snapped as he quickly ran from Thor and opened up his car and climbed in. Making sure to close it shut and locking the door so Thor couldn’t try anything silly.

“Thank you, brother.” Thor smiled as he stood at the driver’s side and watched as Loki started the engine. “I love you brother. Loki! Loki! I love you.”

“Good for you.” Loki looked out the window to Thor who was just smiling brightly and waving at him..and making a…heart sign with his fingers. Loki rolled his eyes started to back out of his spot and drive out the parking lot to head on home for the evening. Leaving Thor standing at the empty spot with a little bit of hope that this will be the chance to get his dear brother back.

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you guys like it so far. Don't be too hard on me hehehe.I got way too many crazy and silly ideas for this, so I hope to make this into a fun verse to play with. This story being an introduction of sorts. It's gonna be mostly Tony/Loki and I'm not sure what other pairings to do because I ship everything and everyone. So I will come up with them as I go.


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